Once, on a first date, I casually mentioned that I tend to like fictional villain characters the best (...it was in context, I promise. We were having a conversation about books or movies or something. I did not just blurt out, “ANYWAY, I’M REALLY INTO THE NE’ER-DO-WELLS!” I mean…it would not be completely off-brand if I did. But I didn’t. This time).

I Hope You’re Ready For My Big-Bad-Feminist-Werewolf Era!

 Just Kidding. I Literally Do Not Care If You Are Ready

<<Presses Play>>

I was late to the game in discovering, This Is How You Lose the Time War. Sometimes, when a book comes out that I think looks absolutely brilliant, I put it on my “to-be-read-list”, but it will stay there until I have the necessary brain space to process something brilliant. I don't want to read it just to check it off the list. I want to read it to enjoy it, to savor it, to give it the attention it deserves. I want to relish a story, not rush a narrative. And so, at the beginning of 2024, I decided the brain space had become available and I decided that I was going to choose the audiobook format.

Are you stressed out? Are you anxious? Are you soothed by the thought of organization and just want to zone out? Well that makes two of us, and I’m here to help with the ASMR equivalent of reading articles.

Many of you felt seen in my article on being an outsider in one’s own family. So I’d like to expand more on topics of abusive dynamics this month.

I started watching Lena Dunham’s Girls on HBO for the first time after moving into my apartment two years ago. I unpacked boxes and held my new, fuzzy kitten, her skin still smelling of humane society, and loosely paid attention to what I guess I deemed as a less glamorous Sex and the City.

As someone with ADHD and a penchant for burnout, I am intimately familiar with the dreaded reading slump. I love reading. There is nothing better than having my whole heart and mind consumed by a rich storyworld – rivalled only by the satisfaction of finishing said story. And yet…

I still slump. I slump hard. But, after many years of slump experience, I understand the barriers that stop me from reading consistently. It really comes down to: Accessibility, Time Management, Accountability and Engagement.

Being an outsider in one's own family is rough. We've all seen these characters before: Harry Potter and the Dursleys. Cinderella and her stepmother and step sisters. Lately, we’ve been given Penelope Featherington and her mama and sisters in Bridgerton. It’s the cat and mouse game of temporary acceptance, of conditionality, of fickle love – of begging for scraps of acceptance and wanting to read more into them than could ever be there. It’s the thrill of an elaborate heist to steal something precious that should have been yours to begin with.

Imagine that you and I are settled in around a glowing campfire. It’s late here. The moon is hidden behind the clouds. We brought the makings for s’mores – but more than that, we’ve brought spooky stories to tell each other. The forest around us is thick and dark, and a wolf howls somewhere in the distance. At least…we think it’s a wolf….we hope it’s a wolf.

You know what I want? I want those nebulous, undefined, unpossessive, healthy, relationships that are deep and meaningful and transcend conventional definitions. I cannot get enough of them. Yet modern media often can’t handle womxn and mxn having those types of relationships.

When I was thirteen years old, I decided to dip my toes into classic literature. I started with Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen because it's supposedly beginner-friendly.

I ordered a cheap copy online; when the parcel arrived, I was thrumming with excitement as I tore it open. But even with a hefty dictionary beside me, trying to read the first line had me intimidated and lost.

I just finished the complete Murderbot series by Martha Wells (I chose the format of audiobooks narrated by Kevin R. Free, which were phenomenal) and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why I absolutely adore this series; to understand why it resonates so strongly...why the chord it plucks deep within my own experiences are ones so intimately known, in such a multidimensional way.