Villainy: A Bad Way to Start a First Date (Apparently?! …I’m Still Not Convinced)
by Zora Grizz, Haphazard First Dater, Esq.
Once, on a first date, I casually mentioned that I tend to like fictional villain characters the best (...it was in context, I promise. We were having a conversation about books or movies or something. I did not just blurt out, “ANYWAY, I’M REALLY INTO THE NE’ER-DO-WELLS!” I mean…it would not be completely off-brand if I did. But I didn’t. This time).
I should probably also mention: I’m a prolific first-dater. I show up as a ball of nervousness, wander around and laugh with an interesting individual, perhaps steal a kiss or two (...or three, if it's going quite well) at the end of the date…and then I vanish into the ether. It’s my modus operandi, as the youths say. No one is perfect, and I may or may not have commitment issues. I won’t commit to an answer.
Anyway. In our perfectly relevant first-date conversation about fictional character-based things, I expressed a preference for a good villain. And dear reader, my date visibly blanched. She all but clutched her pearls and looked at me, absolutely horrified. In complete bafflement, she asked, “but why?!”, and with a look of deep discomfort on her face, slowly inched farther away from me.
My internal baseline-panic level began to escalate into a slightly-higher-than-normal-panic level as I frantically did a quick review of the words leaving my mouth to verify I’d not said anything atrocious. But I’d just said that I liked make-believe villains, and she responded as if I’d confessed I had a penchant for dressing up as a tree and waiting for people to walk by so I could jumpscare them to death.
As the conversation valiantly tried to limp onward from my villainous-faux-pas, and I assured her that I had meant fictional villains, two things became clear:
She didn’t understand someone appreciating a good villain. From her perspective, bad-guys were bad. Bad was disliked. Heroes were cheered for. My upset of this logic seemed to have been taken as a personal affront.
...This was not going to work out.
But her reaction stayed with me - though the date did not. I’m still baffled by her response. Is it uncommon to appreciate a well-done ne’er-do-well? I’m pretty sure this particular affinity is not just me, and is visibly present in mainstream storytelling. For instance: the character of Loki as played by Tom Hiddleston, or the beloved Addams Family and their preference for ghoulish treachery.
The fictional villains I like are moody outcasts, miscreants with agency, the powerless usurping power, womxn rejecting patriarchal norms that restrict them. Some of my favorite devil-may-care, nefarious, fictional characters include the titular librarian in The Ice Queen, by Alice Hoffman, the powerful and conniving Sophie in Cackle, by Rachel Harrison, and Teresa Mendoza, the king-pin of an international drug cartel in The Queen of the South, by Arturo Pérez-Reverte.
I’ve also frequently ruminated on the concept of fictional villainy vs. real-world villainy. Because yes, there is absolutely a difference. Real-world villainy is different. Real-world villainy hurts people. It takes and brutalizes and punishes and harms. Some examples of that include the political regime that will take power in January 2025, an orange cheeto, Republicans, Christian-terrorists, 53% of white women who threw everyone under the bus and voted for a war criminal in 2024, and oh, I don’t know, did I mention the evil empire that will re-assume control in January of 2025?
As a lover of stories and antagonists, of anti-heroes and rejecting societal norms, I'm frustrated by the dissonance between fictional villainy and real-world villainy. I like my fictional villains. Why are the real-world ones just…awful? The line between what a fictional villain does to be considered a villain, and what that same action would be perceived as in reality is strange and blurred. Is it still villainous when someone in the real world speaks truth to power, if those in power are the protagonists?
What happens if I apply my thoughts of villainy and heroics to the world around me? We live in a nation that was built on genocide, discrimination, whiteness, and patriarchy. These are not new issues in America. As social media and algorithms change the landscape in which we interact with each other and present ourselves to the world in, we now have the concept of “echo chambers” - being grouped with others who seem similar to us, until we only hear reinforcements of our own beliefs. I bring this up, because of the concept of hero and villain. Who is who in which echo chamber? What about everything that is in-between the good and the bad?
To me, wanting concepts of social equity and justice to be applied in concrete ways that lift up and support those who have historically been discriminated against (BIPOC, womxn, immigrants, MMIW, etc.) seems like the obvious thing to do. But in a nation created against those principles and that just elected a man who campaigned to tear social justice causes down…am I the villain?
I’ve discussed my predilection for pretend-villains with friends who know me better than First-Date-McGee, and who are more onboard with my tastes and thought processes…but even then, I’m still not certain that I articulate what I mean correctly. I don't like anyone being hurt, in fiction or reality. I guess if I try to really distill the concept that appeals to me in archetypal villainy, this is what I see:
A womxn rolling her spine up as straight knives, her shoulders becoming a ninety degree angle to the sky. She rejects a world that demands she be small and demure. I see her grin wolfishly, pleased and ferocious, for no one but herself. I see her teeth shine as she bares them at the sun, without a single passing thought for people who tell her she’s prettier with her mouth shut. I feel the same clear, crisp, victory that she does when she makes herself taller than every limit that has ever been strapped onto her shoulders. I watch in ravenous glee as she narrows her eyes and decides to ignore all the barriers the world placed before her. My heart soars in delight and with the sharp pain of envy as she takes giant steps that shake that ground, leaving her “good” self behind and striding forward into whatever she wants to make of herself.
And at this point in a story, everyone on the ground below the giant figure, scurrying to get out of the way, has labeled her as “bad”. It is this freedom, this fierceness and self-determination, that I see in so many fictional villain characters. They have the agency, power, and freedom that I crave. And let's be honest….they are just so much more fun.
I like reading about the sprawling criminal world that builds itself around Teresa Mendoza as she does whatever she can to survive, but in reality, the violence of drug cartels is tragic and heartbreaking. I like The Ice Queen’s refusal to care about anyone or anything, but in reality, when someone carves their own wreckless path through the lives of others, it's painful and selfish. I love reading about Sophie’s absolute devotion to spoiling herself and her friends, if they want it or not. In reality, friends who can’t respect boundaries are hurtful and sometimes dangerous.
Perhaps this is what alarmed that previous first date participant, way back when. Perhaps they had not caught it when I tried to distinguish between the delight of fiction and the devastation of reality. Perhaps I hadn’t made that difference clear? I’m pretty certain I had, but I’m not perfect (lol just kidding, yes I am). Thoughts on villainous things are a fun playground that my brain likes to explore, testing new ideas, swinging across the ladders of the reviled and the revered, sliding down slides of action and consequence. Perhaps one day, I’ll concede to a second date…if their eyes gleam at the mention of the make-believe villain.
