if
if there is no door then i dream of a door
holding my own hand while asleep.
frightened ankle flinches forward propelling
beyond the curves and bends, and what lies ahead
is five more minutes of flinching, sternum to cheekbones
temples to ribs, madrona trees
to soil, sound. but i dream of a door
with my fingertips to my forehead, i touch the talisman and the wheel
if there is no door then i dream of a door
with the blush of naivety
no distance of doubt, a hand reaching
across striped bed sheets
sleeping, waiting, hoping
if there is no door then i dream of a door
into worlds of the same different song
and colors, a childhood, the depth behind
my eyelid and the images my mother
brushes my hair my father makes me laugh and
my brother is my brother is my brother is my brother
i am the alchemist and the architect
there is always a door
because i dream of a door
even if, even when, especially and always then