“Just because my dreams are different than yours, doesn’t mean they’re unimportant.”

 — Little Women (2019) 

Why is a woman no longer allowed to be seen as ambitious once she’s fallen in love? Must she be forced to decide between a career and marriage in order to find security? More often than not, modern-day feminism seems to suggest that women who choose romance over work are contributing to patriarchal ideals—but can one not exist alongside the other?

I remember envisioning my wedding day as a little girl. With ink on paper, I had created the gown I would wear as I walked down the aisle to Bach. At the altar, I would look at the person I had decided to spend the rest of my life with, and I would feel content. Despite this, I still had dreams of becoming an artist. I still had non-romantic aspirations, most of which I hoped to achieve within the next five years. In my eyes, there was nothing wrong.

As the years went by, I realized how much women were encouraged to make names for themselves and claim independence—but to do so, they have to abandon any hopes of becoming a wife or mother. If a woman settles down and starts a family, it must mean she has conformed to outdated societal standards, which means she is partaking in the tolerance of sexism.

Greta Gerwig's 2019 adaptation of Little Women follows the March sisters Meg (Emma Watson), Jo (Saorise Ronan), Beth (Eliza Scanlen), and Amy (Florence Pugh) as they navigate their way through girlhood. Upon watching it the first time, I resonated deeply with Jo. She wanted more than to find a husband; she wanted to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer and refused to trade that for anything in the world, despite how it was generally opposed to by the majority. However, when I watched it for a second time, I was struck by Meg’s genuine desire to be wed. She wasn’t portrayed as less-than for wanting a more conventional life than her sister did. She was just a girl who had fallen in love and felt comfort in it.

I wonder how it was decided that love is a weakness, a distraction. Yes, it's true that women have had to fight to make a name for themselves in fields dominated by men, but why is it considered anti-feminist to desire all aspects of womanhood? Not all women want a life driven by a career, and it is entirely unfair to put all women in one box. Some will dream of being a bride, some a mom, and many will do so while they pursue whatever they are passionate about.